9 Signs Your Relationship Isn't Worth Fighting For | HuffPost Life
Why is it that we fight the most with those we love the most? bad feeling about ourselves and our relationships that, although uncomfortable, also feels familiar. The last time you got into a fight, how did you act? It turns out that how we deal with conflict says a lot about the future of our relationships. Let's take a look at tips that will help you stop arguing and fighting with your partner and throw light on how you can save your relationship.
If you're unable to spend some time apart or believe it would do your relationship more harm than good, Sloan suggests this tip: Give yourselves some breathing room and build positive energy.
8 Practical Tips to Stop Fighting With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend | PairedLife
That energy will help you hear each other and solve the problem while also protecting your relationship from too much negativity. Remember Why Your Relationship Is Worth Saving The easiest way to be reminded of how badly you want to stop fighting with your significant other is to make a short but hard-hitting list of things that point out why you want to save your relationship.
It can be a silly and mushy list, or it can be a serious list of things that hit you hard. Next, put that list up at a place where you can see it every day. Use a piece of paper or use post-it notes—whatever will grab your attention every time you walk by. Here are a few examples. I want to stop fighting with my boyfriend because I love him a lot.
8 Practical Tips to Stop Fighting With Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend
I can't afford to lose him. I would feel jealous and destroyed if he started dating someone else. Who is going to drop me off at dance class every week? I can't spend one day without him, let alone one week. We make the perfect pair. We've been through a lot, and I don't want all the effort that's been put in our relationship to go waste.
I want to stop fighting with my girlfriend because I love her and we have a great bond. She is beautiful and makes me laugh. I have never had a chemistry with anyone as good as the one that I have with her—inside and outside the bedroom.
Who else will accept my idiosyncrasies? She is perfect for me, and not just because she is hot. Neither of us is perfect and I don't want to lose a person just because I wasn't willing to listen. While nobody enjoys arguing with their significant other, the truth is that all couples fight. It's just part of being in a relationship. It's also true that some couples may argue more than others, but it doesn't necessarily mean that their relationship is "on the rocks.
It's hard to mesh two different sets of preferences, needs, and styles. There's nothing wrong with being yourself, but you have to accept that your partner is different and his or her needs are just as valid as yours. That's not always easy to do," says Sloan. On the flip side, it's important to recognize that if you seem to be having the same fight over and over, it's maybe time to take a step back and look at why this is happening.
Does it come down to a difference in values or priorities? Is it something you can compromise on? You should, of course, try and work out your issues, but if you find you can't come to some sort of consensus, then it may be time to part ways. It can be tempting to start fighting about something via text. But don't do it! I mean we spend most of our lives attached to our phones, so of course, an argument is going to pop up as you're messaging back and forth.
Note that the advice below is meant to serve as general suggestions. If this is happening on any level, get out NOW. Are they gaslighting you or being emotionally abusive?
You deserve to be treated with respect. Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity 2. However, sometimes it does make sense to try very hard for a period of time to get through a rough patch and move on.
If you are embarrassed to tell people about the amount of effort you have to put into the relationship to keep it going, that is a sign that you may have exceeded an appropriate amount of effort. Your partner refuses to seek help for personal issues or problems within the relationship.
The New Science of Personal Transformation. We can actually use the experience to feel closer rather than pushing them further away. That is why to really break a destructive, argumentative cycle, we have to challenge our critical inner voice. Drop your half of the dynamic Dr. An argument begins, then escalates based on an overflow of pent-up frustration and flawed communication.
We can then have a more effective conversation about any real issues in a less intense moment when we both feel more ourselves.
9 Signs Your Relationship Isn't Worth Fighting For
There are healthy avenues for expressing anger or sadness but also exploring these emotions to understand where they may come from and what they may mean. Emotions offer us clues into who we are. However, in the messiness of a fight, we rarely take the time to sort through and recognize our emotions much less express them in ways that are adaptive or helpful.
But we should certainly be curious and accepting of our emotions. Be vulnerable and express what you want Les Greenberg, the primary originator of Emotion-Focused Therapy, distinguishes between primary and secondary, adaptive and maladaptive emotion.