5 Wrong Things Women Do With Men That End A Relationship Before It Even Starts | Thought Catalog
Unfortunately, not all kinds of love last forever, and some can actually turn The same goes for a guy who hates the relationship he's stuck in. It seems everyone's an expert on relationships and human behavior, or are they? Here Likewise, ladies shouldn't try to be just one of the guys. they want to know who you are today not how you were in a past relationship or lifetime. DO. While men complain that women are complicated, we know at times nothing is harder than getting inside your guy's mind and getting him to.
Not being yourself Shutterstock In the beginning of a new relationship, many women may feel compelled to act or behave in a certain way that's not entirely in sync with who they really are. And while it's perfectly normal and natural to want to put your best self forward when you're with the new object of your affection, it's not okay to lose your identity in order to please your new partner. In fact, if you want to be able to create a deep, meaningful, and enduring relationship with this person, you need to stay true to who you really are so that the person you're with can complement you and your life, rather than detracting from it.
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- 5 Wrong Things Women Do With Men That End A Relationship Before It Even Starts
However, when you opt to be your real and authentic self right from the start, your new relationship is far more likely to grow into something real as well.
Moving too fast Shutterstock It's not surprising that new relationships can move at a whirlwind speed. In fact, you and your partner may be so intensely into each other that you end up skipping certain relationship steps that are actually necessary in order for you to really get to know one another.
Specifically, you may start making big decisions about your future together, immediately become sexually intimate, or spend a lot of time with your new partner's friends and family before really getting to spend quality time with just him. And while your warp speed approach can often be blamed on the pure thrill and excitement of the honeymoon phase of your new relationship, it's important to keep in mind that these intense feelings of adoration and devotion can fade over timeas noted in Social Science Research.
In a word, if things happen too soon between you and your partner, your relationship will likely end sooner than you thought. Being too clingy Shutterstock When it comes to new relationships, it's also imperative you don't become too needy or clingy with your new beau. And while you may be so excited and enthralled with your new man that you're tempted to text or call him non-stop, want to spend every second with him, and always need to know what he's up to and if you can join, not giving him his space is only going to create space between the two of you.
So in order to avoid having your partner feel as though you're smothering himit's important to continue to be the confident and independent person you are if you really want your relationship to work in the long run. In fact, if you're hoping to build a strong connection with this person, you should continue to pursue the activities, hobbies, and passions that make you the special person you are, as that's actually what made you appealing and attractive to this new person in the first place.
Remember, if you want to set the stage for a world-class relationship, it's important that you incorporate your man into your world, rather than having your world suddenly revolve around him.
Comparing your new partner to your ex Shutterstock Another major "don't" in a new relationship is to compare your new beau to your ex.
And whether things ended amicably with your ex or not, always comparing your new partner to your ex is only going to make it that much harder to develop a deep and fulfilling connection with this new man in the future. After all, when you're constantly comparing your partner to your ex, a part of you is still stuck in the past and will inevitably prevent you from fully investing in a new relationship. Plus, when you continually judge your partner against the man or men who came before him, you can end up creating impossibly high standards that are unattainable and unfair to place on someone else.
And while your exes are important in the way that they shaped the person you are today and can help you understand what qualities and characteristics you value in another person, it's crucial that you leave the past in the pastnot only for your own personal health and happiness, but for the health and happiness of your budding relationship.
Being dishonest Shutterstock If you want your new relationship to have long-lasting potential, it's important that you're truthful with your partner from the outset of your time together. In fact, honesty is the very cornerstone of a successful relationship, and if you start out a new relationship based on liesyour relationship will likely crumble because your connection was built on falsehoods. In a word, if you want your relationship to have any chance of succeeding, you have to be able to share your true thoughts with your partner and be willing to be vulnerable around him.
And while part of you may always want to agree with your new partner or hide what you're truly feeling in order to avoid any conflict between the two of you, being dishonest is doing a major disservice to your connection.
In fact, conflict can actually be beneficial to a new relationshipas it enables you to learn more about your partner while simultaneously helping you both develop problem-solving techniques as a couple. So don't be afraid to voice your true thoughts and concerns to your new man, as it's actually a key step in determining if your relationship will make it in the long run.
Thinking it won't last Shutterstock Another major faux pas for any new relationship is heading into it with the idea that it won't last.
In fact, there are many different reasons women place this kind of negative expectation on a new relationship, such as they believe the relationship falls into the "rebound" category and couldn't possibly develop into something serious, or perhaps the man they're with isn't their usual typeso there's no real long-term potential. However, when you enter into a new relationship expecting it to be short-lived, you're actually laying the groundwork for this type of outcome to manifest itself.
In fact, expectations are powerful enough to influence your behaviorand your belief that your relationship won't last can end up impacting the way you interact with this person. Lose your sense of self. In so many relationships, people lose who they are. No matter how in love you may be with a person, you should still always have yourself and cherish your independence.
This should be pretty obvious. Forget about your friends. You meet someone new and you enter the puppy love stage where you always want to see them, talk to them, or be talking about them. But you should never, ever forget about your friends. Your friends were there first.
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Always make time for the other important people in your life. There should be a balance.
We all get sidetracked, we all have friends and family we make time for, we all have jobs that demand our attention. We may be out at the bar with our significant other but spend majority of the time talking to other people.
We might be out somewhere and forget to answer their text. But nothing hurts more in a relationship than being forgotten about, and worse, ignored.
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If they voice a concern, listen. Hear the issue from their point of view and try to come up together with a resolution. When you love someone, that person is usually and should be a priority in your life.
Just as you become an important priority in theirs. You expect the significance of one another to be reciprocated.
Things you shouldn't do in a new relationship
But it can be hard watching this important person put other things in front of you. When they hear of something exciting, they call their best friend first.
When they find a cool place to go out, they tell their brother. When a crazy story happens to them, they text it in their group chat. We all do it. But snooping can only lead to problems.
But one thing will always happen: Try to change who they are. Either accept them or leave. So you just have to accept them or keep walking. Desensitize yourself to them.