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Resolving to face the PersiansLeonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their price for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Bettyreveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war. After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylaeand finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements.
Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio.
Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton also played by Parkerwho tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly.
Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff.
Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino.
Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a " Yo Momma " fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.
Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband.
Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider-Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster.
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With Traitoro's deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen. The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in. There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either.
It was just lack of ideas.
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Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time. Brittany Spears acts crazy. Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab. Tyra Banks shows her cellulite.
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And every other celebrity that is made fun of, has the exact same role. Also, there is a joke in poor taste.
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When Leonidas is going to be killed by a talking penguin, it says, "Say hi to Anna Nicole Smith for me. References to TV were thrown around, usually making no sense and totally pointless. Ugly Betty is the oracle. The movies were also thrown about all over so people in the audience could say, "Duh, I know what they're referencing. It made no sense why it was thrown in here.
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That's how I felt about pretty much every part of this movie though. Now, back to myself. When the movie ended after just over an hour, I had a headache, and wondered how dumb some people truly are, because nobody of any intelligence could've thought this was hilarious.
But of course this is my opinion, and warning, don't see this movie!
It will cause depression. Possibly worst movie I've ever seen.