Is Jordan Schlansky Real? Who is His Wife, Fiancé? Wiki, Quick Facts
Conan Jordan Schlansky Hit The Streets Of Florence - CONAN on TBS with English Meet Jordan Schlansky. Look at this woman, just enjoying her day. In February, Conan O'Brien and Conan producer Jordan Schlansky traveled to Italy to tape a new special, Conan in Italy, that is set to air on. YouTube: Jordan Schlansky explains why "Star Wars" is superior to "Star Trek" for far YouTube: Jordan's getting married soon, so Conan decides to throw him a surprise stag party. . Meet Late Night Associate Producer Jordan Schlansky.
Look at the level within the atmosphere. What are you, a pilot now? When I travel I like to connect with a place tangibly, and I like to touch- I bet you do. Surfaces and remember what they felt like and if I touch this stone's surface- Yeah, why don't you rub on that stone, you beep pervert. And close my eyes, and notice the coldness of the stone and the texture of the stone- This guy's perving out on a wall, everybody! I could tell you exactly what the base of the Roman Colosseum feels like.
I could tell you- Oh, you've rubbed up against the Colosseum? What the leaning tower of Pisa feels like. I bet you have, I bet you've left a little DNA at every crime scene. If you like, we could take a photo here? Why would you want a photo with anybody else in it? You only take photos by yourself 'cause you only have one expression. You have a mask. You always look exactly the same. In your photographs, you look like you're chasing after Keanu Reeves in The Matrix.
Anderson, you disappoint me. Look at the down jacket on the dachshund, that's what I like. Look at this woman, just enjoying her day. La dolce vita, buongiorno! The small penis was considered advantageous and a thing of beauty. Other stamps are often used to abruptly punctuate various one-off sketches, including words such as "Alone", "Liar", "Sad", and "Small Penis".
Otherwise, these sketches bear no particular resemblance to the standard recurring "Ass Stamp" sketch. Andy then called him out on it, saying he's never heard about him talk about hockey before. Andy then quizzed him on who the coach was, name a forward, the goalie, etc.
Before Plastic Surgery[ edit ] A picture of a famous celebrity, usually either rumored to have had or has actually had plastic surgery done in real life, is shown.
The picture is then distorted with exaggerated features into a grotesque new picture of what that person looked like before the surgery. The last item in the sketch often makes a joke using an unaltered photograph of another unrelated celebrity, animal, plant or object as the before picture: Bush had plastic surgery, his before picture would be that of a chimpanzee.
The sketch is loosely related to the "If They Mated" sketch in that it uses the same technology for a similar comedic premise. Celebrity Secrets[ edit ] Features celebrities in a room that looks like a jail cell or perhaps a police interrogation room, smoking a cigarette and downing hard liquor, usually telling some humorous "secret" previously unknown about them.
When I found out it didn't, I destroyed his career. When Gwyneth Paltrow appeared on the sketch she admitted that anytime before she starts a new film she kills a hobo with a hammer, as well as admitting an affinity for porn. When U2 appeared on the sketch, they admitted they were not Irish.
The sketch was simply a man in a werewolf costume, rubbing his snout in a manner stereotypically associated with cocaine users. Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland[ edit ] The premise of this skit had its origin when Late Night received many angry letters from viewers in Ukraine after mocking that nation in another recurring skit, New Euroswhere the joke was an image on a Ukrainian Euro Coin depicting a man in Eastern European dress with four arms, holding up seventeen fingers, with the caption on the coin saying "Over 17 years since the Chernobyl Accident".
So the premise of "Conan O'Brien Hates My Homeland" is that O'Brien, in an effort to find out where else the show is being aired without his knowledge, reads fast-paced insults of each of the nations of the world in alphabetical order with the expectation that angry mail will come pouring in from offended viewers in countries where the show is broadcast. O'Brien insults 5 countries with a bell ringing between each one each time the bit airs.
Where Europe meets Asia and says "Hey, why don't we both dump our crap here? On August 9,Zimbabwe was the last country to be featured, thus ending the sketch after three years. Finland[ edit ] An announcer on the Finnish entertainment channel SubTVwhich airs the show a couple of days after it is aired in the USA, asked people to defend Finland before Conan got to insult it, and the viewers in Finland began sending mail before the bit had even gotten to the letter F.
Conan responded by assuming the Finnish "just couldn't wait" to be insulted and officially insulted Finland in the segment. An overwhelming number of postcards were supposedly received, which apparently "forced" Conan to give Finland a formal apology.
Conan then went as far as to have the flag of Finland shown in the background during a speech and slandered the Finns' "hated" neighbor Sweden with a sign saying "Sweden Sucks! Inthe Finland antics increased. While talking to fans before the show, Conan met two Finnish fans who commented that he resembled their President at the time, a woman named Tarja Halonen.
Amused that his show was even airing in Finland, Conan made frequent references to his resemblance to Halonen, even putting her picture beside a live feed of his head. Upon learning that Halonen was running for reelection, Conan went so far as to film a segment of the show which took the form of a campaign commercial for the President. When Halonen won she jokingly gave O'Brien part of the credit and offered to meet him if he ever came to Finland.
This inspired an episode where Conan did travel to Finland where he was given a hero's welcome at the airport, met with Tarja Halonen, participated in Lapplander folk rituals, and sought out an ordinary Finnish fan who had written a letter to the show. He actually was in front of a green screen and he holds a steering wheel. The greenscreen displays scenes of the road and the outdoors. Usually they get into humorous situations on the road. For example, as they went through a rural area, animals "humped" or attempted to mate with him.
Green-colored objects are also used to incorporate violence into the bit, such as by putting green circles onto their bodies to show that they have been shot. A recurring incident since the use of audience members involves driving down the stairs outside the 30 Rockefeller Plaza building which would be a bumpy ride on a wheeled vehiclethen Conan pausing the bit to criticize his passenger's insufficient bouncing and rewinding the footage to the top of the stairs to try it again, more convincingly.
After announcing the first guest, a member of the audience played by writer Brian Stack is seen saying that the guest is "Fantastic! After Conan announces the next guest, the member does almost the same thing, but ends by making up a word by combining a guest's name or work with the word "fantastic".
That charismatic scene-stealer is Epps-tastic! Conan then questions the man, asking if he just likes the guests but "thinks everything else we do is crap?
The man will then finish with "not crap, craptastic! He then introduces a series of fictional clips from past shows where the guests reveal themselves to have unforeseen quirks or cause disturbing mishaps.
Some examples include a chef who does not actually make anything, but only reassembles food to its original form, and a character named Barney Brittlebones who crumples to the floor the instant he makes physical contact with Conan. Conan, in an ad-libbed statement, mentioned that the character appeared on the, at the time fictitious, web site "HornyManatee. The next night, Conan told viewers that if he mentions a web site which does not exist the NBC corporate policy is to buy the domain name lest someone else use it and potentially make NBC liable for the site's content.
Conan said Late Night decided to use the domain name to create an actual web site, giving it the appearance of a fake porn site. Since that night, Conan has periodically given viewers an "update" on the website's status, mentioning its hit count and several fan submitted images, poems, and other media pouring in.
Conan also used the updates as lead ins for special, on-stage Horny Manatee segments. For example, Conan called on James Lipton to dramatically recite the fan-made poetry, then dance with the Manatee on air at his own request, and flew the Pittsburgh -based pop-punk duo Rocket Me Nowhere to New York to perform their tribute song "My Hopeless Manatee".
The last time Conan stated site's hit count Jan. In an interview with New York Times, O'Brien has also said that he was overwhelmed at the viewer response. If They Mated[ edit ] Pictures of two famous celebrities, usually believed to be dating at the time, are shown. The pictures are then combined into a grotesque new picture of what their offspring would look like if they mated.
The segment became so successful that it later spawned a book. The last item in the sketch often makes a joke using an unaltered photograph of a celebrity as the offspring: Another notable example; Paris Hilton and her pet chihuahua would create George W. Once Conan mated Kelly Ripa with Clay Aiken then asked the question "What do you get when you cross a perky talk show host and a guy who just won't come out of the closet?
Joe's[ edit ] Conan begins by talking about needing to relax and unwind by going to his favorite bar - Joe's. Theme music plays with an exterior shot of the bar. He walks inside and the bartender Kevin Dorff and a patron Brian McCann begin to berate Conan invariably for showing up to an event 'completely plastered' insisting on feminine activities and in some way or another ruining food or drink that's to be served.
I am Sona Movsesian, Conan O'Brien's assistant. AMA
Conan drinks hard liquor while being yelled at and looking insecure. The sketch always ends with the bartender, Joe, demanding Conan pay the money he owes. The character consisted of a man in a bear costume dressed in a diaper-like undergarments which contained oversized genitalia, and was often accompanied by several human "handlers" armed with cattle prods. The character would be asked to perform some sort of innocuous task such as explaining a chart on recent economic fluctuations or smoking weed with Conan O'Brien.
Inevitably, a few seconds into whatever task he had come to perform, the bear would begin furiously fondling himself as part of the song " Sabre Dance " plays. The bear would then usually be given electric shocks by his human handlers. Despite repeated instances of masturbation, the Masturbating Bear would continue to be invited back on Late Night.
Once, the bear was revealed to be Chuck Norris in costume. During the last week of Conan's run on Late Night, Conan declared the bear was too risque for This drew a protest from Carrie Fisherwho subsequently freed the bear.
The bear was last seen sailing away on a boat with Fisher until he reappeared on The Tonight Show on January 20, in the wake of the controversy surrounding Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, which saw O'Brien's departure. Originally, it was thought NBC would be able to claim the Masturbating Bear as intellectual property. After a brief video reel revealed such, the bear was invited on stage to a cheering audience.
However, Conan's words about the size of the audience became too much for the bear, who stripped out of his business attire and began to pleasure himself both on stage and on hanging rafters above.
During Conan's June trip to Chicago, Conan introduced the Masturbating Bear, but instead a man dressed as a Chicago Bears player watching Internet pornography with his pants down was brought onto the stage. The original Masturbating Bear came out soon after. Some are popular enough to warrant a second appearance, though few are actually made into recurring characters.
Generally the new characters are absurdist in nature and carry names which fully describe their appearance or concept, sometimes extending to full multi phrase sentences. For example, one recurring character was "Gorilla Nurse Using an Old Fashioned Abdominal Exerciser While Listening to 'Angel of the Morning' by Juice Newton" a character which consisted simply of a stuffer gorilla in a nurses costume being vibrated by an old abdominal exerciser while the titular music played.
A related gag also exists where Conan promises that he will not waste the audience's time with zany, random jokes, only to introduce a completely zany, random character. Another version is "New College Mascots", which feature fake mascots which often make fun of a real college or its surrounding area.
In the lead-up to his departure for The Tonight Show in earlyO'Brien brought back characters which would be inappropriate in the This tale is always a long, drawn-out personal tale delivered in a soft-spoken tone that usually involves some sort of comic-bookanimesci-fi -related, or similarly esoteric medium. At the end of his complaint he states "Bottom line, America Much of the humor of the sketch comes from the dry, emotionless manner in which Bernard delivers his "rage.
Conan insisted that the only explanation for Bernard's reluctance to allow a camera crew into his home was that the graphic designer was, in fact, a serial killer. During the sketch, O'Brien interviewed Bernard in the manner of news magazine shows such as Dateline NBCasking questions designed to implicate Bernard as a murderer.
Initially, Bernard seemed reluctant but as the sketch went on he seemed to get more into the act. At one point, Bernard admitted that he did not describe himself as prolific because "I haven't been killing for very long.
Pierre Bernard moved with O'Brien on The Tonight Show to continue as a graphic designer and occasional performer, first seen on June 3, For example, in one sketch, called "Puppet's Last Words Channel", a puppet scientist prepares to take a drink from a cup labeled "acid" and says, "I sure do love my morning cup of coffee. In another segment of the same sketch, a puppet exclaims to another puppet that she was born with both sets of genitalia.
Perhaps the most notable puppet, both on and off the show, is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Conan would later appear on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon to ceremoniously retrieve Triumph, which had somehow been hiding behind one of the couches on the set. Although the newest SAT format introduced in has dropped analogies, the segment continues to be used in new episodes. Final episode of "The Sopranos": A TV screen is lowered down to the seat where the interviewed would actually sit.
On the screen is a still image of a celebrity, with live video of the mouth of the back stage impersonator superimposed—because of this method, the fake interviews are also called the " Clutch Cargo routine", after the cartoon, that is the most widely remembered user of Syncro-Vox.
Commonly impersonated celebrities are Arnold Schwarzenegger who almost always mentions his 'smash hit holiday classic', Jingle All the Wayand makes lame comebacks such as "You're not even a movie!
BushBarbara Bush who is given the gruff voice of a man from New JerseyBill ClintonHillary Clinton and Martha Stewart either of whom if, nagged by Conan about a point she wishes to dismiss, will begin talking in a demonically deeper voice as her eyes glow redMichael JacksonSammy SosaBarry BondsRafael PalmeiroDonald Trump who will frequently describe things with the adjective "Trump," proclaim his accomplishments to be "huge," and respond to Conan's correcting him with "you're fired!
Most of the impressions are done by either Robert Smigel or Brian Stack. Conan provided his own voice. Quackers[ edit ] Quackers is a white domesticated duck who first appeared on the August 6, show during a sketch. The sketch involved Conan nervously reacting to various band members shouting at him, only to learn they were being literal. For example, one band member shouted, "Conan, Duck!
Conan, noting the audience's apparently positive reaction to the duck, dubbed it Quackers. On the September 19 episode, Conan notes Quackers' popularity amongst viewers again and also mentions Quackers' popularity on YouTube. The episode also contains a clip of Quackers as an action star. Conan noted that this purchase now allowed him to play clips from the show Walker, Texas Ranger starring Chuck Norris without paying any royalties. The "Walker Texas Ranger Lever" was a prop lever which, when pulled, would cause a supposedly random clip from the TV show to play.
The clips were nearly always taken out of context and usually involved either Norris performing some improbable feat of heroics, or a particularly despicable act of violence being committed by a villain. For example, one clip involved Walker tasting the dirt in a random patch of land and determining that a plane had crashed there.
Another involved a villainous father played by Dan Lauria exhorting a young boy to jump from a high ledge, insisting that he would catch the youth. Yet when the boy did jump the man stepped back allowing the child to hit the ground. The sketch would usually begin with Conan introducing the premise and then commenting that he did not intend to use the lever immediately, followed by his immediately pulling it.
In most instances of the sketch, Conan would comment after at least one clip that the sketch was finished, after which he would pull the lever "one last time. In late summerthe bit seemed to have been retired as Chuck Norris walked in and fired a prop gun at Conan.
Norris also revealed his own lever and pulled it, playing a clip showing him mock-fighting Conan with martial arts moves in the back of the studio. The lever did return on occasion in One of the last and most popular clips to be shown was part of a "spring cleaning" segment where they were airing jokes which they had previously developed but had not aired before.
With the Walker clip Conan insisted that they had been too scared to air it when they had originally discovered it, explaining "Once you see it.
The merger also led to the creation of two other short-lived triggers, a Knight Rider pull chainand a Beverly Hills Cop Theme button. In the penultimate episode of the show Conan claimed that the lever was the most requested skit on the show by fans.
Induring Conan's live Legally Prohibited tour, the "Walker, Texas Ranger lever" was reintroduced, used in the shows by Conan as well as by guests.