8 Things I Know for Sure About (Most) Middle School Kids | Cult of Pedagogy
How to Have a Good Relationship in Middle School. A lot of relationships in middle school could not last a day. It would go on for months if you had tried. Relationships that start early like 7th grade could last a very long time. Some relationships that start early Relationship Advice · Dating and Relationships. Health, Sex & Relationships · Love Advice · Hookup Confessions · Sex Basically, middle school relationships are just about as raw and real as any relationship will ever be. 7. Throwing all caution to the wind and finally talking to your sixth grade crush, since you're about to graduate from eighth grade.
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And try to have a sense of humor: They are mortified by public praise. Winning the perfect attendance award, student of the month, highest math score — all of these make them beam with pride. But pull a middle school kid up in front of his peers to wax poetic on his good qualities, and you may see that kid shrivel up like an old grape. I had a student once, a tough Bosnian guy who also happened to be a fantastic writer.every teen needs to hear this.
If I wanted him to keep writing well, I should have kept quiet about it. Might as well put it in the morning announcements. Throwing a surprise party for another teacher and want to let your kids in on the secret? Consider the surprise ruined. Treat your middle school kids the same way you should treat the internet: They just now realized you are a human being.
This means a couple of things: Cut to five minutes later and your room is a fricking zoo. That formal operational stage can be awfully slippery at first. And as for those super personal questions?
Answer them within reason: In school you are a role model, a professional, and you are not their friend, so always give them the G-rated version of your life. They are pulling away from their parents. Pulling away from parents is a normal part of adolescence. They are still kids. Learn how to capitalize on it: Unlike high school kids, middle schoolers are much more enthusiastic about things like review games, and they are unbelievably willing to take a note to the office or hand out papers for you.
The wiggling is normal, too — those bodies are growing like crazy, and with no more recess, there are few opportunities to burn off that energy. Most of the time, when I told someone I was a middle-school teacher I got the same basic reaction: One word could never quite capture the ridiculous, smelly, stubborn, fragile beauty of them all. Your child is changing — and so is your relationship. The gap between each grade is like light years.
Just as your child is in constant transition, so is your relationship. Our job as parents is to help our kids not need us, to work ourselves out of a job by cultivating self-sufficient young adults who have character, coping skills, and a strong work ethic. Clearly middle schoolers still need guidance and protection, but they also need opportunities to make their own decisions, handle their own conflicts, and grow independent.
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In an age of helicopter parenting it can be hard to loosen the reigns, but sometimes we have to step back, recognize a growth opportunity, and coach them on how to best rise to the challenge.
Your middle schooler still needs your voice and presence in their life. Nobody loves your child or cares about their well-being like you, and even good friends and well-intentioned adults can share poor bad advice or lead them astray. Middle schoolers get pulled in a hundred directions.
One thing I have realized, especially with daughters, is how their experiences trigger memories of my past.
8 Things I Know for Sure About (Most) Middle School Kids
When my first daughter got her ears pierced, for example, I suddenly remembered details about the day I got my ears pierced. It makes us project our past onto our kids and pledge to save them from the same heartache. Ultimately this leads to impulsive choices.
You still need a village.
Many had babies on their laps, and I could sense a real camaraderie. I encouraged them to maintain their support system because as kids get older, the village can weaken.
Competition and jealousy can amp up as you have 50 kids apply for 10 spots, and kids start to show real talent.
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When parents take this approach, it improves the climate for everyone. Like your middle schooler, you will face peer pressure — the pressure to parent like everyone else.
Sometimes parenting is lonely. You may be the only parent not giving in, the only one whose child is mad at them. Learning to think independently on small issues prepares you to think independently on big issues too. They foster independence by asking parents to be involved as little as possible.
At my first parent night, I quickly noticed a theme. Every teacher expressed the same desire to have students take ownership in their education and become self-advocates. Whenever possible, they asked parents to let their child be the one to email their teachers, talk to them, and come to them for help.